Yesssss!
Ahhh it makes all the difference to have a week like I have had...feeling well, feeling alert, not too tired and generally more 'me'.
I have managed to work 7hrs and 15 mins Monday to Friday and even managed a short walk on Tuesday evening. A couple of months ago this would have been unthinkable.
Today I have done my house chores and done a bit of shopping and had my hair cut.
Just normal things, but to someone with CFS all this is massive progress and gives me a great boost. I recognise there may be weeks that are not so good, but I savour the times like I have had this week and use them to harness positivity for the week ahead.
Have a great weekend readers and fellow bloggers x
Saturday 25 April 2015
Monday 13 April 2015
The lonely place
The main thing I have struggled with since I got ill is how others have treated me or reacted to my illness.
Now. I've never been the most popular girl but always felt quite happy with my life and my friendships that I had built. Until I got sick and could no longer drive around visiting people...........
The most hurtful thing has been those who I thought were pretty good friends who have not once been to visit me in 8 months nor text or call to see how I am or simply have a chat.
It hurts....it really hurts....like a plug was suddenly pulled on quite a few of my friendships and I couldn't, and still cant figure out quite what I've done or not done to have warranted this. As I said to a friend at the weekend 'I cant actually believe this has happened to me'.
I can only assume that perhaps where I thought people were friends, they were more 'acquaintances' or perhaps they have things going on their own life which meant they felt they couldn't cope with a friend who was ill.
Thankfully I seem to still have some good friends who do call me, do pop over to see me or make plans with me and for that I am truly grateful. I am learning to think positive thoughts and be grateful for the good times and the kind people in my life.
As the evenings get lighter my goal is rather than laying on the sofa after work watching tv, once or twice a week to go for a short walk around the area I live in. This will give me not only health benefits but something else to occupy my time.
My circle may have got smaller but hopefully it has gotten stronger.
Now. I've never been the most popular girl but always felt quite happy with my life and my friendships that I had built. Until I got sick and could no longer drive around visiting people...........
The most hurtful thing has been those who I thought were pretty good friends who have not once been to visit me in 8 months nor text or call to see how I am or simply have a chat.
It hurts....it really hurts....like a plug was suddenly pulled on quite a few of my friendships and I couldn't, and still cant figure out quite what I've done or not done to have warranted this. As I said to a friend at the weekend 'I cant actually believe this has happened to me'.
I can only assume that perhaps where I thought people were friends, they were more 'acquaintances' or perhaps they have things going on their own life which meant they felt they couldn't cope with a friend who was ill.
Thankfully I seem to still have some good friends who do call me, do pop over to see me or make plans with me and for that I am truly grateful. I am learning to think positive thoughts and be grateful for the good times and the kind people in my life.
As the evenings get lighter my goal is rather than laying on the sofa after work watching tv, once or twice a week to go for a short walk around the area I live in. This will give me not only health benefits but something else to occupy my time.
My circle may have got smaller but hopefully it has gotten stronger.
Starting off...
Hi, I am Clare and 8 months ago, after constant flu like symptoms and exhaustion for over a year, I was finally diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome/ME.
My life as I knew it was blown apart and I have had to pick myself up bit by bit and try and find a way to be me again. Its going to be a long journey.
After a bit of a cry round a friends at the weekend I decided, after a couple of months of deliberating to set up a blog, to write down my thoughts, feelings and experiences, to try and help myself, but also to hopefully help others in a similar situation to maybe not feel so alone and scared as I have done.
For those not familiar with CFS, it is not only the feeling of exhaustion and never feeling refreshed, but cognitive issues occur like poor concentration and memory. And yes...I can confirm my memory is terrible!
In 8 months I have progressed, going from being off work for a time and being able to do nothing except the daily functions of living, to now being able to work 7 hours a day Mon-Fri and do occasional social things during the day at weekends. Evenings I haven't cracked as yet...but it will come.....I try and remain as positive as possible although some days do succumb to that feeling of despair I frequently felt in the early days. I still have set backs and days where I just need to stay in bed and rest, but I have been assured by specialists that the only way is up for me now, I just have to persevere.
I am one of the lucky ones as I have made good progress and some sufferers are bed-bound or confined to a wheelchair. I am so thankful I am not in this position.
I am learning to pace myself, what I can and cant do, and hope to share my progress and feelings with you all. Even if no-one reads this, I feel it will be quite cathartic for me
xx
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