The main thing I have struggled with since I got ill is how others have treated me or reacted to my illness.
Now. I've never been the most popular girl but always felt quite happy with my life and my friendships that I had built. Until I got sick and could no longer drive around visiting people...........
The most hurtful thing has been those who I thought were pretty good friends who have not once been to visit me in 8 months nor text or call to see how I am or simply have a chat.
It hurts....it really hurts....like a plug was suddenly pulled on quite a few of my friendships and I couldn't, and still cant figure out quite what I've done or not done to have warranted this. As I said to a friend at the weekend 'I cant actually believe this has happened to me'.
I can only assume that perhaps where I thought people were friends, they were more 'acquaintances' or perhaps they have things going on their own life which meant they felt they couldn't cope with a friend who was ill.
Thankfully I seem to still have some good friends who do call me, do pop over to see me or make plans with me and for that I am truly grateful. I am learning to think positive thoughts and be grateful for the good times and the kind people in my life.
As the evenings get lighter my goal is rather than laying on the sofa after work watching tv, once or twice a week to go for a short walk around the area I live in. This will give me not only health benefits but something else to occupy my time.
My circle may have got smaller but hopefully it has gotten stronger.
In tough times, you know who your real friends are, the wheat gets sorted from the chaff.
ReplyDeleteFar better to have a small and absolutely rock solid circle of friends around you. You know now who you don't have to waste your precious energy on.
Tough lessons chick, but good ones. You are moving on up. Never doubt it.